Artists,skaters,cooks and scientists!

Sammy making shaving cream sculptures.
Maddy's art work
My fruit pizza from Every Italian!
Maddy and Izzy performing experiments with cornstarh packing peanuts
Future skating star!
Maddy's boat
Maddy's train

Maddy and Izzy's shaving cream sculpturesThis is what we have been up to. What about you?

Just wanted to add something today! So this is it!

So Happy to be Where We Are

I have a friend whose daughter goes to public school. She has been telling me all about her daughter and classmates having to do "Practice" tests for the upcoming MCAS in March. They have been doing these tests since the fall. She has also expressed concerns for her daughter in that she is an interest based learner and she doesn't do well under pressure in class when called on to give an answer or read a loud. I asked her how she does at home or if when she reads things of her choosing does she understand. Yes, she does. I have also asked her, "What in life ,if you could give your daughter anything , would that be?" Her answer, "Confidence, Happiness and not to be afraid". I told her to bring her home! She is not ready to hear that thought. But her calls filled with tears and anxieties become more and more frequent. I don't wish that upon anyone but I do realize when she calls with her fears, how lucky I am to be home and to let my children learn at their own rate and of their own choosing. I don't see the fear in them and I don't feel the heartache that she does. I wish she could stand outside of herself and the world and realize that what she wants for her daughter could happen if she would go with her gut and do what she knows inside is best, instead of asking for that magic crystal ball.

How Did I Get Here?

Well I have been reading a lot lately. Mostly blogs some books. I just read from Wistful Wanderlust Unschooling How did we get here part I, II, and III. Thanks for those posts . I sent them to my husband who actually read them. He never ceases to amaze me. Anyway.... I decided to write how I got here. I was a teacher of Special Needs for 6plus years. I left for many reasons 1 being that when I tried to get the kids the services they needed I was told I couldn't recommend that service because then the school system would actually have to provide it and pay for it ! So I couldn't tell the child's Parents what I believed they needed! The parent could tell me what there child needed but if I agreed I wasn't allowed to say it out loud or in writing!! and 2. I wanted with all my heart to be home with my daughters. I had 2 at the time. So we crunched numbers and decided that we could do it. We went without buying a house , we had hand me down furniture, used cars and we didn't go on vacations once a year. But I was home. My oldest did go to school for K, and first grade. Then, after much help from both sets of parents, we bought our first house. Sara then went to a new school for 2 and 3rd grade. I saw a transformation in those years. One where a little girl who loved to be read to and loved to "read" to a child who hated to read. hated to write, hated to do math. She became unconfident . Well, when we moved Maddy was put into preschool for all of three days and I pulled her our and kept her home. The next year when she was to start K. It just didn't fell right so I kept her home to give homeschooling a try. Then next year we brought Sara home. We started out very much doing School at home. We tried many different ways of homeschooling. I read lots of books on different methods but still it was never as fun as I thought it would be and I always ended up frustrated. I learned about unschooling. It took me 2 and1/2 years of reading about it . But I kept going back to it and thinking that it really sounded like it made sense. But fear and my traditional background and teaching background kept me from it. I decided after having a panic attack that landed me in the hospital to try it.
Well a year later. I can say that I still have worries and we are taking baby steps but, I know in my heart, And I have to trust that and them (4 children now) that this is the path we were meant to be on. I am still learning but it getting better everyday!

Ok, so I am trying

So today I found some youtube clips from Wicked the Musical and we watched together. It was really ,I felt a nice connection. I then sent her the link, both things someones suggestion, to a HSM farting video. As much as I am not into that kind of humor I do think she will like it. So it is a start. I also sent hubby some links for unschooling dads . Hopefully he will read! I also put West Side Story on hold at the library maybe she will even watch it with me! She loved Cats and Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Coat.
I just finisned reading Nineteen Minutes. A book every teen should read especially those in Public School!

My Goals for the Week

My goals for this week is to find ways to support my childrens' interests. I am having some worrying moments when is comes to my oldest(13). My worry is based on balance I guess. I see her watching Youtube(mostly ones on Teen Disney Stars) and listening to Disney teen music and watching many Teen shows. Yes she is a teen and yes I have watched with her. I guess instead of wishing she would have other interests besides Disney Teen things I should be finding ways to support that interest and expand it. I just am stuck as to what. So if anyone has any ideas for me I am ALL ears!

More Bird Tree Photos

We enjoyed decorating the tree

and sipping on hot cocoa!

Look! We even added a star!

Don't Forget The Birds

And other furry creatures!!
We made some very delicious bird treats to decorate a tree in the woods!

Look who is Two!

Yesterday was my big boys birthday. And while I have never claimed to be a baker, I take heart that at least he had a decent cake at Cheryl's house. Mine fell apart when I took it out of the pan!! But it fit 2 Candles and 1 for good luck!! Happy Birthday Mr. Man!!

Some Festive Spots in my Home

These are some pictures of areas in my home that I feel are pretty at this time of year.

At Peace

I love the Christmas season I really do. But there really does seem to be so much pressure. Last year as I was shopping I started to feel sick. I left the store and drove. I kept repeating to my self "Just get home, your almost there" When my arms from my elbows down got numb and my hands started to close up. I pulled into a restaurant parking lot and asked someone to dial 911 I could not open my hands up. I thought I was having a stroke. I was very scary. when I got to the hospital my potassium was extremely low but the doctors felt that I had had a panic attack. Well I am not sure if that was what happen or not but I promised myself this year would be different.
This year I am done with shopping and decorating but there are many events to plan for but I really am at peace. When I feel tension coming on I play George Winston and look at our lights and cuddle with the kids. I really feel full and at peace. I have decided that for the rest of the season I am going to focus on kindness . I am going to try to do or say something kind to everyone I meet and I will focus on how that makes me feel. I got an email the other day and It was about an experiment for a woman's class. Everyone had to smile at three people they encountered during the day and what record what happened when they did this. I don't know if the story was true or not but I thought that that was a really lovely thing to do. Smile, be kind and be at peace- What a beautiful season!

Oh the Drama

We belong to a small UU church and last week was very hard. Our DRE resigned and events before and after were full of emotion- strong emotion with the best intentions of the church though still filled with turmoil. I wrote this poem which I found very healing for myself.

Twas the night before church
My mind was a screamin'
"I hope this week I had just been a dreamin' "

The church that I'd felt always had good karma
Had suddenly seemed to be a place full of drama

An inbox full of harsh emails a flying
I felt like a part of my soul was dieing

I kept thinking this was not a place I wanted to be
But then I thought , truly this is really not about me

We need to think about what the children need
For someday, they are the ones who will take the lead

So if all the adults treat each other with respect
Our issues will be resolved I suspect

If we can all try to be fair
Maybe we'll remember we have a church full of people who truly care

Needing a Rhythm

I am feeling like I need a rhythm to our days. We are trying to keep track of Wonderful Moments this week(As challenged by Stephanie Happy and Free) but I am not seeing them. I have a rather bad case of the Blahs. I did go see the doctor and was diagnosed with SAD. And although I would rather take something like St. John's Wort I can't as it interferes with my thyroid medicine. So I took the chance and am going on a prescribed medicine. I really needed to try something. But with that said I feel like we need more of a rhythm which at this time we just don't have. I asked the girls if they wanted to try something a friend suggested where on Mondays we will do some sort of art project while listening to different kinds of music, Tuesdays play board games, etc. I know it seems very un-unschooling like but they do have the choice as to whether or not they participate and they will also be involved in the planning. So we are going to give it a try, knowing if something better comes along we can always do that too. Part of me is looking forward to trying it and part of me feels like a bit of failure. Well happiness for all of us is the goal so I guess if we are happy doing it then it is right.

Television

I have decided that I really am a tv snob. I find myself often comparing what Maddy watches to what Sara watches. Maddy watches shows that I really find interesting and entertaining so we often watch together. Sara watches shows about teens which for the most part are totally unrealistic. But they are exactly the types of shows I would have watched when I was her age. I try to watch some of them with her but I find myself critiquing the behavior of these worldly teens. Bite my tongue as I may I am a snob. But I have to find some way to get over it and not view what she is watching as anything less than what Maddy watches. One example is one day she said to me," When I am 16 I want to get a pink convertible( like a girl in a movie she watches all the time) but instead of Fabulous on it I am going to get Princess on it." Uggh! This is who she is right now and I am trying to accept it but I also can't help how I feel.

Our New Little Girl

Lily. She is as sweet as sweet can be! She is 2 months old and we adopted her yesterday. She has already started playing and purring around us. She slept with me last night. I couldn't resist. We will see how tonight goes with Maddy and Izzy and Lily in bed with me!! I am surprised how quickly she is adapting to her new home. We haven't introduced her to Reggie yet(our Long Haired daschund who is 14) I wanted her to get used to us first. Jas even thinks she is a cutie and he is not a cat lover!! I am in love already!!

Fall is SOOO Much Fun!

The search for the Great Pumpkin!

Some tasty caramel apples

Happy Halloween!! aka Sara's 13th birthday party!!!

Webkinz get ready for Halloween

The girls did lots of planning and crafting ! Their costumes were quite impressive!
Maddy with all of her designs. I love the pumpkin!

A flower, a witch, a scarecrow and a popstar
A pirate, a bunny and a "prince"

Paths

I have always felt that I was on a path in life and that if I kept coming back to something , it really must be the way to go. Unschooling has been that for me. While we were still homeschooling I kept getting books on unschooling and learning and I kept thinking that it really sounded like the right way to go. The teacher in me(former special ed teacher) and the fact that I love to buy curriculum and plan held me back. Yesterday, being at a gathering with lots of unschoolers just really felt right. It was one of the most unstressful gatherings I have been to in a long time and it was so nice to see , moms loving their kids, kids playing together and working things out when there was a conflict and just plain respect and kindness. My children were so happy. I am really happy we chose this path!

On Me

I know that my children don't like being judged but I have come to realize that I don't like it much either! I do feel like I am constantly being judged by family, for homeschooling, by my hubby for my parenting and housecleaning skills and by friends, unchoolers included! I just want to be me! I want to have a respectful relationship with my children but that goes both ways. If my child does not feel well and does not want to go somewhere or do something, I do not MAKE them but I wish I got that in return. I guess as an adult there are certain commitments we make and we have to keep them but even my kids judge me. If I don't feel well and they want to do something and I explain that I just don't have they energy to do it I get "Your just mean, you don't want us to be happy". Then the guilt sets in . I never seem to be able to make it right for everyone while also making it right for me. Well, enough poor me. Today I will be the best that I can be, just for today and them I will go from there.