Television

I have decided that I really am a tv snob. I find myself often comparing what Maddy watches to what Sara watches. Maddy watches shows that I really find interesting and entertaining so we often watch together. Sara watches shows about teens which for the most part are totally unrealistic. But they are exactly the types of shows I would have watched when I was her age. I try to watch some of them with her but I find myself critiquing the behavior of these worldly teens. Bite my tongue as I may I am a snob. But I have to find some way to get over it and not view what she is watching as anything less than what Maddy watches. One example is one day she said to me," When I am 16 I want to get a pink convertible( like a girl in a movie she watches all the time) but instead of Fabulous on it I am going to get Princess on it." Uggh! This is who she is right now and I am trying to accept it but I also can't help how I feel.

Our New Little Girl

Lily. She is as sweet as sweet can be! She is 2 months old and we adopted her yesterday. She has already started playing and purring around us. She slept with me last night. I couldn't resist. We will see how tonight goes with Maddy and Izzy and Lily in bed with me!! I am surprised how quickly she is adapting to her new home. We haven't introduced her to Reggie yet(our Long Haired daschund who is 14) I wanted her to get used to us first. Jas even thinks she is a cutie and he is not a cat lover!! I am in love already!!

Fall is SOOO Much Fun!

The search for the Great Pumpkin!

Some tasty caramel apples

Happy Halloween!! aka Sara's 13th birthday party!!!

Webkinz get ready for Halloween

The girls did lots of planning and crafting ! Their costumes were quite impressive!
Maddy with all of her designs. I love the pumpkin!

A flower, a witch, a scarecrow and a popstar
A pirate, a bunny and a "prince"

Paths

I have always felt that I was on a path in life and that if I kept coming back to something , it really must be the way to go. Unschooling has been that for me. While we were still homeschooling I kept getting books on unschooling and learning and I kept thinking that it really sounded like the right way to go. The teacher in me(former special ed teacher) and the fact that I love to buy curriculum and plan held me back. Yesterday, being at a gathering with lots of unschoolers just really felt right. It was one of the most unstressful gatherings I have been to in a long time and it was so nice to see , moms loving their kids, kids playing together and working things out when there was a conflict and just plain respect and kindness. My children were so happy. I am really happy we chose this path!

On Me

I know that my children don't like being judged but I have come to realize that I don't like it much either! I do feel like I am constantly being judged by family, for homeschooling, by my hubby for my parenting and housecleaning skills and by friends, unchoolers included! I just want to be me! I want to have a respectful relationship with my children but that goes both ways. If my child does not feel well and does not want to go somewhere or do something, I do not MAKE them but I wish I got that in return. I guess as an adult there are certain commitments we make and we have to keep them but even my kids judge me. If I don't feel well and they want to do something and I explain that I just don't have they energy to do it I get "Your just mean, you don't want us to be happy". Then the guilt sets in . I never seem to be able to make it right for everyone while also making it right for me. Well, enough poor me. Today I will be the best that I can be, just for today and them I will go from there.

On Trust

We have been talking a lot lately about trust and how people who trust each other are close and how as a family I want us to be close, that being one of the reasons I didn't want them to go to school. We also talked about how when people lie to each other and trust is broken that sometimes we lose that closeness. Anyway as we were discussing this Sara said that she thought that all parents lie to their children about things they do not want them to know. I had to thing and as I thought I really couldn't think of anything that I have lied to them about. Except one....... the Big guy with the white beard. I come from a traditional family and that tradition carried on with my children. Except now I am full of guilt! Do I tell them he is not real?? I remember finding out and being devastated and I truly believe my oldest still believes. SO now I am torn do I tell just her or all and will she think it was a lie. which essentially it is.

Some More

So I am very much the kinda of person who feels the need to know what will happen if? I still limit them on the amount of time for computer. Not so much tv although if they were watching all day I would start to feel agitated. But the computer?? I don't know I just keep thinking what will happen? Will their minds and eyes just bleed?! I know if I stare at the tv or computer too long that I get a headache. Will that happen to them? DO I let them discover that for themselves?? Hubby would not agree to that I know. He is on board as far as education but not RU in the terms of parenting. He still threatens punishment all the time. I try to role model all the time but he is not here that often overall. There are days when I think, "Oh this is not me " But I have been reading about unschooling and Radical unshcooling for so long even coming back to it time and time again while we were still homeschooling. It feels like it is where I should be. BUT , I want to be THERE like yesterday.....

Feeling Stuck

I have neglected both of my blogs lately this one and xanga.com/dcart. I have been in a stuck place both with writing and with life. Maybe it is the change of weather! I was all set for crisp cool fall and it has been in the 80's and humid. To top it off we have been fighting the the flea battle Ugh. Poor Reggie has had 2 flea baths a natural treatment which did nothing and then Hartz which did nothing!! The 2nd flea bath worked but they are in the house!! I have 8 bites!! Nothing like feeling like you have the creepy crawlies!! I need frost so the fleas will go away.
Anyway, Izzy has been sick for the last two days so we have gone anywhere. Maybe I just need to get out! Hopefully she will be feeling better today!