I know that my children don't like being judged but I have come to realize that I don't like it much either! I do feel like I am constantly being judged by family, for homeschooling, by my hubby for my parenting and housecleaning skills and by friends, unchoolers included! I just want to be me! I want to have a respectful relationship with my children but that goes both ways. If my child does not feel well and does not want to go somewhere or do something, I do not MAKE them but I wish I got that in return. I guess as an adult there are certain commitments we make and we have to keep them but even my kids judge me. If I don't feel well and they want to do something and I explain that I just don't have they energy to do it I get "Your just mean, you don't want us to be happy". Then the guilt sets in . I never seem to be able to make it right for everyone while also making it right for me. Well, enough poor me. Today I will be the best that I can be, just for today and them I will go from there.
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A written record of our journey towards peace and joy in our family life
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- Unschooling mom to 4 babes, some of them not so babyish anymore >sigh< wife to J for 14 years now!! Nature Lover is my daughter's blog. Happy Blogging! My other daughter is Queen Izzy!
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" I'm still wild but not lost from the thing I have chosen to be. Cause you thrill me, silence me, still me. Prove things I'd never believe" From Three Babies by Sinead Oconnor
3 comments:
I wrote a response in the middle of the night last night - but wasn't sure,so I didn't send it!
I believe whole-heartedly that we should communicate needs to our children - we're nurturers, and need to give lots of love and understanding - we can't do that if we don't receive enough of it ourselves.
I don't believe any of us should feel guilty about saying "I'm not up for that today."
Hope you're feeling better, Steph
Thanks Stephanie, I would love to have heard your other comment too -- All is good. We had a great time today with loads of other unschoolers. There was lots of respect and kindness and that brings me peace!
Danette
Am I late on the draw here or what?
My initial thought is if unschooling is somewhat new for you, then these things evolve over time. Saying "you're just mean" sounds like someone coming from the old place of having to fight for what she wants. After a while of you honoring freedom, these things will resolve and become more two-way.
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